Released: 2017
Billie Eilish’s “bellyache” is a haunting track that dives into themes of guilt, confusion, and the consequences of reckless behavior. The song uses vivid imagery and metaphor to explore the inner turmoil of someone grappling with their actions and the emptiness that follows.
The song kicks off with Billie sitting alone, chewing gum in a driveway, a seemingly mundane scene that quickly turns dark as she reveals her friends’ bodies are in the back of her car. This stark contrast sets the tone for the rest of the song, where she’s lost in her thoughts, questioning her sanity with the repeated line, “Where’s my mind?” This phrase suggests a sense of disorientation and guilt over what she’s done.
In the next part, she imagines her friends coming to look for money in her room, biting her nails, and acknowledging she’s “too young to go to jail.” This paints a picture of paranoia and fear, with a hint of dark humor in her situation. The repeated question “Where’s my mind?” continues to emphasize her mental state.
The chorus brings in the metaphor of leaving her lover in the gutter, describing them as an “expensive fake.” This could symbolize a relationship gone wrong, where what seemed valuable turned out to be worthless. The “V is for Vendetta” line suggests a desire for revenge or justice, but instead of feeling better, she ends up with a “bellyache,” a physical manifestation of her emotional pain.
In the second verse, Billie talks about wearing a noose like a necklace, which could symbolize feeling trapped or burdened by her actions. She wants to appear fearless and unpredictable, “like I’m reckless,” but admits to losing her mind. The repetition of “Where’s my mind?” underscores her ongoing struggle with her conscience.
The song closes with the chorus, reinforcing the idea that despite seeking revenge or resolution, she’s left with a “bellyache,” a reminder of the emptiness and regret that comes with her choices. The track is a deep dive into the complexities of guilt and the realization that revenge doesn’t always bring peace.
