Released: 2019
Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is a haunting exploration of dreams, self-worth, and the pressures of fame. The song delves into the duality of achieving one’s dreams and the accompanying feelings of isolation and self-doubt. It’s a deep dive into the emotional turmoil that comes with being in the spotlight, with an underlying message of support and love from those who truly care.
The song kicks off with Billie sharing a dream where she seemingly has it all, but it’s not the fairy tale it appears to be. She describes this dream as potentially being a nightmare, highlighting the dark side of getting everything you think you want. This is a nod to the idea that fame and success aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.
In the next verse, Billie imagines herself stepping off the Golden Gate Bridge, a metaphor for taking a leap into the unknown or into despair. Despite this drastic action, nobody notices or cares, underscoring her feelings of invisibility and loneliness. The repetition of “nobody cried” amplifies the sense of abandonment and neglect.
The chorus brings a shift in tone, as Billie finds solace in the presence of someone who reassures her that she’s safe and valued. This person offers a comforting message, suggesting that if Billie could see herself through their eyes, she’d realize her worth and understand that the harsh words of others are undeserved. It’s a reminder of the importance of having a support system amidst chaos.
Billie then describes feeling overwhelmed, as if she’s drowning, while others dismiss her struggles as weakness. This metaphor of being underwater reflects the suffocating pressure and criticism she faces. Despite the nightmare-like scenario, there’s a sense of immediacy and presence, as if these challenges are ever-present and inescapable.
As the song progresses, Billie reflects on the passage of time and the weight of expectations from those around her. She expresses a desire to keep her struggles private, wary of disappointing others who look up to her. This highlights the burden of being a role model and the fear of not living up to others’ expectations.
The song circles back to the dream, juxtaposing it with the reality of waking up to someone who cares. The repeated assurance that “no one can hurt you” serves as a powerful reminder of the protective and healing power of love and support.
In the closing lines, Billie questions whether she’d make the same choices if she knew the impact of others’ words on her mental state. This introspection underscores the song’s theme of vulnerability and the influence of external opinions on self-perception. It’s a poignant reflection on the consequences of fame and the longing for understanding and acceptance.
